Pandemic Fatigue

I’m tired 

Craving certainty

Of plans that come to fruition

I’m tired

Of hoping

That this is the last time

That it will get better

I’m tired of second guessing

Not sure which answer is the best one

And all feel hard

I crave love

And my heart feels tired

When it tells me that love

Is sitting at the same table

Face to face conversations 

And hugs 

But I keep telling it

It’s staying home

Staying away

Live feels like inviting people over

Love feels tangible

Until it can’t be

My brain wants to guard against screen time

Until my people are behind it

I don’t want to be attached to my phone

But I want to be attached to people

I’m tired of saying no

Or saying yes and regretting it

But not regretting it at all

I’m tired of the word safe

But I’m also tired of the word sick

I take my temperature to make sure I’m not warm

But how do you tell when your heart is running cold

I’m tired of feeling guilty

Tired of feeling scared

Safe feels isolating

In it together feels lonely

Hope is hard

Joy is deeply removed from happiness

All that is easy has disappeared

This too shall pass

And we will be changed

Hopefully for the better

Like the dawn after the dark