2021 For Real
New Year’s Eve was spent with the intention of reflecting. I tried, I really did. I even posted a caption with a reflection that while I still stand behind made it seem that I had really leaned into processing 2020.
Not quite the case. The farther into the day I got, I felt weary of reading other people’s summary of the year. I was tired of asking questions that I didn’t have answers to. I wanted to want to be intentional with my thoughts but that’s as far as I got.
Honestly, the year was a wild card. There were some low lows and some really great things to even it out. Despite the monotony of the days, there really didn’t feel like there was much in between.
How do you put to rest something that isn’t really over? How do you qualify something that was completely unique? Try as we might, there is just no way to put a pretty bow on it.
2020 taught us the definition of frustration. To be hindered from doing something. And that in itself brought the feeling of failure because we couldn’t make life look like it was “supposed to”.
Even at our most creative, friendships didn’t look the same, celebrations weren’t the same, church wasn’t the same. And deep down, I think I still believed the lie that if I just tried hard enough I would find a way to make it work like before.
But there was also freedom. Freedom to let go of what doesn’t work. To try something new. To just be.
So one thing I learned from last year is not to make to many big plans. I do wish to implement somethings but I will hold that loosely. I am almost ready to dream about things like vacations or celebrations, but I’m not there yet.
In the beginning of 2021, I am not forging ahead with new plans and directions.
But I am not without hope. I am expectant. Because no matter the year, no matter the season, Christ is present. He is using whatever we face for our transformation and His glory. He was with us last year, and He will be with us next year. And that is about the only thing of which I’m certain. But what difference it makes.
