Creating Beauty in Connection

In many ways I have always been fascinated by expression. By creating something beautiful and impactful. But I struggle with follow thru. I don’t have those conventional gifts. Singing, painting, drawing, dancing... none of these felt like my thing.  Even as an adult there were other things, cooking a delicious meal, decorating a beautiful home, cultivating a certain style, that just didn’t come naturally.

I believe that we were created to create ourselves. But it can look very different than what the would is telling us (isn’t it always...)

I always wanted to find my thing. The thing that people could point to me and say “she does this.”

As if it defined me. Or should. I wandered. Started things. Planned to start things. Got too discouraged because I didn’t like being bad at things, and I rarely let myself experience the process of learning to be better.

It caused actual stress. As if I was running out of time and failing some sort of mission.

But lately I have sensed the feeling ease slightly. Because in a way I gave up the striving and I just did stuff. Without all the pressure and over thinking. Were they earths shattering? No. Was it satisfying in some ways? Yes.

Because I created.

I made salt dough for Christmas ornaments. I drew a road on a piece of cardboard for my son. I made a pizza crust instead of ordering out.

I cleaned out a drawer and made room. I took a few minutes and made up some dance moves with the kids. I listened to good music which can be just as satisfying as making it. Same with reading a good book.

I can take so many lessons from kids. They are their happiest when they are doing silly things. Banging metal straws in the table and calling it drums. Making up a silly song. Doing crazy dance moves. Digging in the dirt. Splashing water in the bath. There is no strategy. Just discovery. And they always want you to see it. Not because it makes them look cooler. They don’t care. 

But because they want to share it with you. For the  pure joy of doing it. They want connection. 

The beauty we were made for is the making of memories and the creating of connections. That can look differently for everyone. And sometimes we can do the same thing but for different reasons. We can make beautiful things to make ourselves feel more beautiful. 

Or we can create to connect with others, which is the true purpose. Not to point to myself. But to point to the ultimate creator of beauty. Not so that others see me. But so that I see Him. And others can too.