At 10 weeks post partum, the most common comment I receive is “You look great!” In what is often the most sensitive season of a women’s life, I appreciate the encouragement. Hormones, lack of sleep, and post baby body is rough combo for any women.
But what I suspect people mean is “You look skinny.” Because in our society skinny is #goals.
I would like to maybe offer a different perspective. In a society that obsesses over skinny, I would like to advocate for healthy. So many women, myself included have enslaved themselves to the idea of skinny. It robbed me of so much, and I am working to break those chains even now. I desire that freedom for others as well.
It feels like a couple decades of my life revolved around some variation of food restrictions (with occasional binging) and purging exercise behavior. Ever since I quit ballet because I felt self conscious being “the chubby girl” I have fought my own natural body shape. Some might look at me now and think I have won that battle. But only I know what that fight looked life, and it wasn’t pretty.
As a side note, I will say that anyone struggling with their body image is actually struggling with something much deeper, and most likely spiritual. Mine came from a deep brokenness, but that is a story for a different time. My journey brought me face to face with a lot of sin and junk that was much more serious than my shape, but right now I just want to address the brokenness of a diet mentality.
So here is the ugly side of skinny culture.
You won’t ever win. The more weight I lost, the more dedicated I became to losing more, and the more terrified I became to gaining it back. Contentment became harder to come by, and anxiety became an ever present friend.
The more you restrict, the more your body fights your efforts. Your body has a weight it naturally wants to be at. A weight that it functions best at. If you push it too hard, it will do everything it can to correct what you are doing to it. And then it might just give up. My body was operating in survival mode for more than 10 years. I am still in a battle to correct what I did to it. I suspect most bodies function better at about 10 pounds higher than we would prefer to be. How do you know your body is in survival mode?
Your hormones are a mess. Are you moody? Do you have thyroid issues? Is your period irregular? These are only a few of the cues that your hormones need healing.
You have messed up hunger cues. My blood sugar is low and I am shaking before I realize that I am hungry. And I can eat almost half a pizza before I feel full. My body just doesn’t know what to do with food.
You can’t sleep. Or sleep too much.
Your weight plateaus. Because it can only afford to lose so much.
You miss out. You give up a lot to be skinny. Nights out with your friends. Treats at celebrations. Time devoted to excessive amounts of exercise. Peace of mind and contentment. Is it worth it?
You disrespect all you are to worship thinness. You are so much more than your shape. You were made the exact way you were supposed to be. If you live a well rounded, healthy lifestyle you will be exactly what you are meant to be. That will free you up to explore other areas of who you were created to be. You can develop your gifts and talents. You can invest in your relationships. You can just be without overthinking every little thing.
You are always judging and comparing. Some people are naturally thin. That is their healthy state. Some people are thin because they are killing themselves, or because they are sick, or so many other reasons. You don’t know other people’s lives. You never know the other side of the story. So don’t judge. Don’t wish that you had what they have . Just be content with what you have.
Let’s all agree that being a women today is hard. We don’t need to make it harder on ourselves. Be who you are, accept what you have. Do not make decisions based on what society says is right. Because so many times in history, the majority was wrong.
Respect your body. Listen to it. Be kind to it. And don’t take it too seriously. This body is just a tent. It is fleeting. We were made for so much more.
Let’s change the message. Let’s pursue health and not fitness. So that we can have energy to live our life. Pursue health so that our body can do what it was meant to do. Pursue health so that we don’t have to worry about our body as much. We can focus on the “good works God planned for us.” We can love those around us more than our own bodies. We can champion and encourage other women to do the same.
Let’s be a movement of women who are so much more than our shape.