Grown

There comes a day when we all call ourselves grown and we expect ourselves to have arrived at full adulthood.

Whatever that means.

To struggle only a little bit

To need only incremental growth.

To have achieved all our goals already, and hit the maintenance phase of life.

I hit the magic number.

And called myself a failure.

Because I should feel more like an adult

I should know all I need to know about all the things.

I should have all my “big issues” under control.

I should have at least set into motion all my dreams and desires.

It was ok if I was wandering a bit in my 20’s

But by 30 I should be walking a straight line toward my grown self.

35 arrives feeling like a failure, because I’m grown but still growing.

Changed but still changing.

Transformed but not “there” yet

But why do we shame ourselves for continuing to grow.

So if 35 is middle age here is to growing and changing the rest of my life.

May I see more fruit in the last half than the first half.

And let me look back and say, it’s only getting better.

Being made more like Christ until we meet.

Remembering that God is unchanging so that we can be ever changing

Pursuing righteousness and obedience until the end.

Sanctification has no age limit.