The Power of Staying

This week we loaded our car with random belongings and an obscene amount of snacks and headed west.

We will meet the rest of our belongings somewhere along the way and end up in Phoenix, Arizona.

The reality that it is a one way trip is still a bit shocking. We are speeding away from all the familiar landmarks into so much that is new exciting and unknown.

I have called DeKalb, Illinois home for *almost as long as I lived in my hometown. The house o moved into when we got married has been the only home we knew as a married couple. I had a handful of addresses before that. Along with a handful of jobs as well.

But all existed within the same small town and small community.

As we say goodbye and leave the place that has been our home for so long, I am struck by the beauty of staying. An interesting observation by someone who I leaving, I am sure.

But the time planted exactly where God had us, for just as long as He had us there,  grew us in ways that prepared us perfectly for what is ahead.

The Lord calls people to go and stay. Neither is better than the other.

I am raised to be a stayer. My family has deep roots in my home town. Deep roots in our home church that has gone through many, many transitions. And deep roots of relationship. My family has a long history of staying when many people leave. So I had to wrestle with the idea of saying yes to God’s call to go. I had to allow the Lord to help me believe that there is no more morality to going than there is to staying. All will at some point be the ones to stay and to go.

But I am very struck by the blessings we have received from staying by God’s grace.

There is a beauty that comes with history. A peace that comes from getting familiar with the ebb and flow of things. With seeing the rhythm of ups and downs and ups again.

The most beautiful blooms come from deep roots.

The Dekalb we left was not the same as the DeKalb we each arrived in. Being able to watch the fruit of many longterm investments by others over the many years was so wonderful. It created a framework for us in which to see the way God works through faithful service and genuine relationship.

Even as the Lord would bring people in and out of our community for various reasons, you could see the impact each left in their own way. Impacts that would over the course of time bring so much goodness, so much growth. Even if they weren’t there to see it.

I want to grow to be someone that stays fully where I am. Not hindered by past insecurities, and with no worry about the future. Trusting the Lord with His plan. Not being too afraid of goodbyes or rejection or failure to be obedient to His call.

The power of staying doesn’t necessarily only come from longevity. Our days and steps are planned by the Lord. Sometimes you are called to a place for a season. Be it college, a short job placement, or any other reason that life can throw at you. You can be blessed by the heart of staying even if the time is short. You can also bless where you are at by investing well while you are there.

In many seasons of life, I haven’t stayed well. You can take up space in a place without dwelling there. There were seasons in which I remained on the perifory of my situation. Waiting until I was invited in. Always questioning the sincerity of the invite when it came. Investing, but only a bit at a time.

For example, in college I lived right around the corner from my friends. There was a townhouse near by in which many of my friends lived and even more of my friends hung out frequently. It was known to have an open door policy. No invitation needed, just come over anytime.

You know who never showed up without an invitation? Me!

You know who regularly turned down invitations because I was not sure that the invitation was sincere? Also, me!

With only 2 semesters to go, I resisted investing too deeply in relationships. I preferred the safer choice of time alone over thinking what my future had in store.

Little did I know that I would spend almost 10 more years in the community. That those relationships would endure and deepen more than I could have ever imagined. Even as I resisted investing well, God redeemed my fear and insecurity and made something beautiful from it.

We do not ever know what lies ahead. We don’t see all the difficulties ahead.

But we also do not see all the wonderful ahead.

None of our efforts will ever fully protect us from the heartache that life will bring. But they can rob us of the beauty and joy that life will bring.

So I urge you to learn from my mistakes. Do not hold yourself on the outskirts of your life. Be fully where God has you for as long as He has you there. Open yourself to relationships. Get to know the people, places, needs, and joys. Live your life as if you are never going to leave that place. Meet your neighbors, invite people who will become your friends, explore and invest. Risk some heartache, because there is also so much that will heal those wounds that can be found in the living of life to its fullest.

The place we are going to is also deeply impacted by people who decided to stay. You can sense it. People who love the community and love the church body and love the Lord. People who have been compelled to stay and wait expectantly for what the Lord is doing. Trusting Him to build on the foundation that has been laid over the years.

Each part of the journey is a place where God has specifically brought us to serve and be served. To give and to receive. To laugh and to cry. jjjj

Leaving is hard when living life fully invested was so wonderful. But leaving is sweet when you carry with you the people and places and experiences that shaped you into who you will carry into what is ahead.