“Let them”. This is a “trend” of sorts circling the social media world. I have not given much attention to it, but in a nutshell it is a controversial mind set encouraging people to ignore negative things people might say about them. “Let them” criticize, ignore, ridicule, etc…. And live your life.
I will not pretend to endorse or flesh out the implications of this trendy mindset, this week I have in a small way seen the merit of the slogan, albeit in a completely different way.
Birthdays come in waves in our family. Lots in January/February and lots in July/August, with a few sprinkled here and there through out the rest of the year. We do our best to make birthdays special, just as I’m sure everyone else does. As the kids get older we have developed a bit of an expected rhythm of birthdays, mostly centering around a special breakfast together with some simple decorations and a card or gifts first thing when we wake up. The beauty of this is that they look forward to the tradition as much for their own birthdays as they do for each others birthdays. When they know a birthday is coming, they ask “What are we having for breakfast?”, “Did you get the card?”, “Are we having balloons?”.
I have never been a big birthday person. Birthdays are fun, but I have never been one to feel like making a big deal. “It’s just another day,” I have frequently said. My natural inclination would be to deflect or to ignore. Maybe out of discomfort of receiving attention. Maybe out of fear of disappointment. Maybe from a fear of being needy.
But my kids want to celebrate. My husband wants to celebrate. And who am I to deny them the gift of celebrating?
So I “Let them”. I let them draw me cards, and sneak out to get donuts. I “let them” see that even grown ups can celebrate their birthday. I “let them” learn how to make people feel special, how to intentionally seek to honor special days and special people.
The older I get the more I realize that truly more is “caught then taught”. And not just with kids. I have learned so much about loving the Lord, living a vibrant life, and being a good friend from observing those around me.
So when I remember my kids are watching, that others around me are observing, it reorients my heart to what is important.
Would I ever want my kids to think that there birthday is “just another day”? Would I ever want them to think that a special day is not something to be acknowledged? Would I ever want them to learn that they should ignore their own desires to make others feel special and celebrated?
Absolutely not.
But what does it say if I tell them that their birthday is special but mine is not? What does it say if they plan a special celebration and tell them “they didn’t need to do that.”?
So I am learning to “let them”. Let them celebrate. Let them be generous. And maybe let them see me cry. Let them see me tired. Let them see me do hard things. Let them see me enjoy life in little ways.
And I do not mean just my kids. Maybe we should let in our community. Our friends. Our neighbors.
We should “Let them” drop off food. Let them help us when things are hard. Let them inconvenience us. Let them pray for our difficulties. Let them celebrate our wins.
God created us to live life together. To bear each others’ burdens. To bestow honor on each other. He created us to be full people in front go each other.
So They are teaching me as I try to model for them what it looks like to celebrate and support the people that God puts in our lives, both family and friends. We love them, and God loves us through them. What a beautiful reality!