There is no date for it on the calendar, but my favorite days are the in between days. The perfect middle between winter and spring and the day when you can feel summer start to ever so slightly relent in favor of autumn.

But somehow my subconscious need to be independent and self sufficient leaks all over my children. “I figure it out myself. I don’t ask for help. why do they??” Whispers a voice deep inside.

Now is the transition

When successs is measured

Not by doing but being

Not accomplishing

But experiencing

Plans exist in the recesses of my mind

A to do list that never makes it to paper

But hands are full and it gets pushed to later

So if 35 is middle age here is to growing and changing the rest of my life.

May I see more fruit in the last half than the first half.

And let me look back and say, it’s only getting better.

Dreams feel too intangible

Like a breath

I’m unwilling to release

For fear of losing it

He can

He will

He has

And

He is.

I never want to miss all the big and small ways

That we show up for each other

They ways that I feel seen

In the midst of chaos

And loved in the mess

Now is the time to be present. And be listening. To trust the future to the Lord. To rest and rejoice in the life I am living, even in the chaos and clutter.  Not to be so preoccupied with moving ahead that I don’t listen to the Lord in here and now.

But the answer to my question is “yes”. My house, my life, is full of sacred. But it’s not the stuff, no matter how valuable to me they are.