Ever heard of the five love languages? That was a hot topic for a bit, and I would still say it is a helpful tool in understanding people around you. The premise is everyone has a specific way that they tend to show love, and also one that helps them feel most loved. You mean not everyone likes the same things?! This had me super intrigued.
But nothing surprised me more than finding out that one of the 5 ways people receive love is getting (and giving) gifts.
Gifts… I hope none of those people are my friends, because I am totally awful at giving gifts. Like the” circle target for 2 hours, and end up buying a gift card” kind of bad. Que the panic, along with a mental scroll of all my friends to figure out which were the “gift” people.
But when you care about people it’s not as hard as you think to find a great gift for them. Here is a fool proof strategy for those of you who also are non-gift givers.
Because having friends who are exactly the same as you, is completely boring, but does not have to be a complete mystery either.
Useful Gifts
What are things they use on the daily. Noticing these things can make people feel known and appreciated. Don’t buy them what you hope they might like, but get them what you already know they love and use.
Ideas can be: a lip balm they use everyday, a new coffee tumbler if theirs is getting old, gift card to their favorite place. If they workout, maybe some new gym clothes. If they like music, maybe an itunes gift card. Movie passes for a movie buff. Or if you notice something of theirs is “well loved” (read falling apart) get them something to replace it… Obviously it is something that they like a lot.
For Christmas one of my relatives bought us to HUGE coffee mugs and a blanket. Literally so simple, but the most used items in our house at the moment. We use them EVERYday!
Things don’t need to be earth shattering. It may not be recognized as the “Most Awesome!” or “Most Creative!” or “Best Gift I ever got!” But they will like it. And they will know you truly were thinking of them. That’s what gifts are all about, right?!
Thoughtful gifts
These can be useless or useful little ideas that make them feel loved and cared for. Think unique experiences, favorite things, or inside jokes.
What is something that makes that person unique? What really brightens their day? What is something that you both share together?
Ideas can be: something they loved from their childhood, something on their bucket list. A favorite of theirs that makes their day. A favorite book.
Again, personalized gifts that are simple and special are always winners.
Experience gifts
Sometimes we do not necessarily need more stuff, but memories are the best! I love experience gifts. Take someone to dinner, to get a massage, or a pedicure. The best gifts are spending time with people you care about.
Things like plays, concerts, parks or zoos. People really love doing things, even inexpensive or free things.
Just get out and do something. Spend special time with someone you love for their special day. Or for no reason at all.
Years from now, people won’t necessarily remember all the gifts they were given. But they will remember the relationships they have with people they love. The memories they make together will stand the test of time.
Write them a letter
My personal favorite is to write them a note. I don’t do things well. But words come easy to me. So including an encouraging note can make any gift feel special and personal… Even a gift card :) It’s the perfect way to let them know how much they mean to you.
Do something
If none of these are really working for you, do not down play acts of service. Wash their car, clean up their desk, finish a task that has been driving them crazy. Babysit their children, or help with school pick up. All these things can be a lifesaver and such a gift. To sacrifice your time to help them means so much.
So next time you want to bless someone with a gift, and have no idea what to do, do not stress too much. Just realize that the depth of our love is not contingent on the “awesomeness” of your gift.
We show people love in the little things. When we laugh with them, cry with them, and do everyday things with them. Our gifts are just a gesture to add to the way we care for them everyday.