You know what I am sick of? That comparison game. Just when I think I have really dealt with it in someway, it just pops up its ugly head again and again. The depths in which the issues goes is really ridiculous at times.
God has been revealing my own personal struggles with comparison, and the more that happens the more I am aware of it in others as well. And it is really starting to break my heart.
I just happen to be reading Proverbs 31 this week, which is another struggle for another day. And my eyes were drawn to the other side of my bible which just so happened to be Ecclesiastes 1. Ecclesiastes has become a beloved friend to me over the past couple of years, but there was only a single verse underlined on the first page.
“What has been is what will be,
and what has been done is what will be done,
and there is nothing new under the sun” (vs. 9)
Nothing new. Could easily be read “Don’t think you’re special. It’s all old news.”
But thank the Lord that He has far more grace for us than that.
So often in this stage of life, I notice the comparison. Sweet friends have shared with me something that is personally difficult for them. A real life, in the moment, struggle… And then quickly follow it by some apologetic comment about how their momentary affliction must be nothing in comparison to… say, having a baby. (Which I have done, recently.) Or a sickness, or grad school, or a tough relationship. Or any number of things.
And it breaks my heart. Because yes, there are challenges involved with taking care of a new, sweet life. But that doesn’t make anyone else’s challenges smaller. It doesn’t mean that their life is easier and they should just learn to deal with it. Or that because I have my own stuff going on, that I don’t want to hear or sympathize with their own life circumstances.
These sweet souls are so hard on themselves. Feeling guilty for their pain. Feeling like they should be able to deal with whatever life threw their way. Feeling ashamed of their weakness and need. Trying to justify and simplify their suffering in an attempt to diminish what they are going through.
There is nothing new under the sun… Every hurt, pain, or frustration has been experienced before. And there IS always something worse that could be happening. And yes, we can’t live in defeat or allow ourselves to live as a victim forever.
But sweet friend… remember that while it has all happened before, God created you intentionally. He specifically numbered your days.
He has been in the creation business for a long time. Generations and generations really. But He did not check out after the first 2 billion people. He wasn’t bored because He had seen it all.
He was very intimately involved in every aspect of the process. He created each one of specifically. He never went on autopilot. He was very intentionally involved in the process, and He was ecstatically excited about it. About you!
So do not compare or diminish. And if you have people around you that make you feel less than, remember that is not at all how Christ sees you.
God desires you to come to Him in your joys and struggles. Even if they seem silly. He counts your tears, even if you can’t come up with a good reason for shedding them.
There is nothing new under the sun, but we serve a compassionate God full of grace. A God that understands that while it is not new, it is new to you. He walks us through every trial, and He does not compare.
Because what good is comparison. The God of the Universe sent his Son to experience exactly what we do here on earth. He faced every earthly trial, nothing is new to Him. He experience the weight of all the guilt and shame on the cross. Way more than we ever have to because of His sacrifice. Our struggles just don’t compare. He experienced all of our suffering to the greatest extent so that we wouldn’t have to. We are saved from it.
And then He turns to us and says, “Look what I did for you.”
And this is where I wish the words could jump out of the screen. Because tone is soooo important. “Look what I did for you” is not an accusation. It has no note of bitterness or dismissal. It does not diminish our suffering.
That phrase is offered with gentleness and compassion. It is an invitation to sit with Him. “Look at what I did for you.” He knows our pain. He saw our brokenness, and He did not tell us to figure it out, get over it, or deal with it ourselves. He did not suffer on the cross to throw it in our faces.
Hebrews 4:15 says “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.”
He came to sympathize with us. To show us that he knows our pain. He of all people can relate to our suffering.
But He also came to deliver us from it. 2 Corinthians 5:12 says “For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”
We all might become His righteousness. Each one of us. He did not just offer that gift to those who seem worthy of it. He offered it all to us. Because we are all broken, rebellious, and suffering.
So do not compare yourself to me, friend. Not to what you think is good, or what you think is hard. Because when you compare yourself to what you think is true of me, you put a wall between us.
Don’t compare yourself to me, friend. Share yourself with me. Let’s come together in our hardships and our victories. Let’s share our lives, the beautiful and the messy. Let me be the hands and feet of Jesus to you.
Let me sympathize Let me lift you up. Let me speak sometimes hard truths. Let me rejoice with you. And please do the same for me.
Because while there is nothing new under the sun, sometimes life throws some things that are new to us. And that is ok.
Don’t compare your situation to those around you. But share it with those around you. That is where we find life abundant.