Not A Wrong Option

You do you!  One of those overused millennial sayings, that on one hand is super obnoxious, and sometimes makes complete sense.

I have trouble accepting my own limits. For better or worse, I always thought of myself to be a person with a high capacity to get things done.  But I have recently realized that is not as true as I would like.

Anything that is an option to me seems like an obligation.  I can’t leave anything undone. Or any opportunity untried. Or any responsibility unclaimed.

Once my baby was born, my husband and I made the decision for me to stay home with him.  It was the choice I wanted to make, but I knew it would not be easy. Having worked my whole life, it was a lot to switch to the mindset of my work being at home, and not away from home.  Despite so much affirmation from my husband and family about the significance of raising my child, there was still parts of me that wondered. Could I work away from the home? Should I? Would that be better?

There was always doubt about the unexperienced and untried.  Worried that I made the wrong decision.

So when I was asked to return to work temporarily to help for a short (10ish day) season, I said yes.  I can, so I should… right?

The experience was so confusing for me.  It did feel good to be out working and interacting with others.  I felt capable. I could check things off a list as “accomplished”, which is not so easy to do at home. But I wanted to be with my baby. Every evening when I came home, I would be flooded with emotions I couldn’t sort out.  Guilty that I didn’t get as many hours as I could have at work. Guilty that I was gone so long. Guilty that I had left someone else with my at home responsibilities. When I was at work, I felt guilty. When I was at home, I felt guilty.  When I was holding my baby, I felt guilty that I wasn’t doing chores. When I was doing chores, I felt bad that I was missing out on my baby, or husband, or dogs.

See a theme?  It was ridiculous and consuming.

My inner monologue was no help.  Every option had benefits. And every option had downsides.  When I started to focus on one, I was reminded of the other. My brain was spinning in circles.

I hope some of you can relate.  We live in a world where comparison reigns supreme.  Where the hustle is celebrate. Where we are told we can do anything (and everything) if we work hard enough.  And as inspiring as it sounds, it weighs my heart with a burden I was not meant to carry.

I am hear to kindly tell you sweet friend… You can’t do it all.  And you weren’t meant to.  Please release yourself from the weight of accomplishing.

What I am here to say is… You do you. But not in the obnoxious way.  I do not mean, do whatever you want and who cares about anyone else… You are the only one that matters.

No, that is far from what I mean.  What I do mean is, You do whatever it is that God is calling you to do.  Be obedient to the path that You are on. Do not try and be faithful to every possible path that you could be on.

Ecclesiastes says there are seasons, a time for everything under the sun.  I believe God can be glorified in all circumstances. I believe that He gives us hopes, strengths, weaknesses, and desires strategically.  He designs us to thrive in certain areas, but those things are unique to us alone. Some of us were made for Grad school and careers, some of us were made for marriage.  Some us were made to start our own businesses, or adopt, or have babies. Or any combination of these things. But I would imagine none of us are made for all of them.

So choose your path.  Pray, listen and apply God’s word, seek counsel, and walk in obedience into whatever direction you desire to go.  

And leave those other things behind, if only for a season.

To embrace something, you have to let go of something else.  And that is ok. You don’t have to have it all.

You do what the Lord made you for in His strength.  He will go before you. Go with boldness and assurance.  Go with humility, walking in God’s strength. Do not turn to the right or to the left.

Do not let the world tell you what you should be doing.  We were not made to live lives that make sense to the world. Do what the Lord calls you to.  Trust He will provide whatever it is you need. Assurance, provision, assistance, or strength.

Keep your heart soft and teachable, ready to redirect when He leads.

Walk faithfully, sacrificially, confidently.  Bring others into your story and enter into theirs.  Allow people to speak wisdom into your decisions, and champion theirs.  

Do not make your path all about you.  But trust that it was made specifically for you alone.

And remember that our paths are not for our comfort, or our fame.  They are to make much of the name of Jesus. To shine light on His work on the cross.  We were saved to live our life abundantly and walk confidently in the freedom that was granted to us.  It did not come freely, but at a high price for a worthy purpose.