Things We Tell Ourselves
We talk to ourselves all the time. Every day. Or at least I do (and I don’t think it’s just me). For most of my life, I have trusted myself more than anyone else.
The voice in my head was the most familiar voice. So how could I not assume that it was reliable.
Some confusion also stemmed from a misunderstanding of the Holy Spirit. While I understand that the Holy Spirit can be quite difficult to describe, the most common explanation of His role was often that He was our conscience. An inner voice that guided us. But the Spirit is a person, whom we can ask for clarity and guidance. We do not/should not assume.
So for a very long time, I assumed that my instincts were reliable. That they might even be the Holy Spirit. But the Spirit is a person, whom we can ask for clarity and guidance. We do not/should not assume.
When something becomes familiar, we often do not take the time to examine it as we should. So I assumed that the voice in my head was steering me in the right direction.
Assume, not ask.
Assume, not seek.
Assumption is often pride. Pride will not lead you in the right direction.
So I listened to the voice in my head. When it became increasingly critical, I did not notice. When It began to shame me I did nothing to correct it. I did not take every thought captive. I did not for one minute believe that the familiar voice in my head was the problem. I believed what it told me.
In the garden, the serpent lied and deceived. His first trick was not to lie (though we know the enemy is a liar). His first trick was to instill doubt. “Did God really say…?”
Eve’s sin was not that she listened to a liar. It was that she claimed a lie for herself. That she heard a lie, and then she believed it. Instead of going to the One who held the truth.
The enemy feeds us lies, but we claim them. We take hold of them. We use them. We believe them. We lie to ourselves the most.
“Take every thought captive” scripture implores us. Not to makes us crazy. Not to encourage overthinking. But to stop the flow of chaos that we can fall victim when are minds are not clinging to Truth.
“Be transformed by the renewing of our mind.” The moment we accept Christ we are new creations in dwelled by the Holy Spirit. We do not have to coax Him in. But we do have to learn to listen and recognize His voice. This doesn’t happen in the blink of an eye. This familiarity comes with intimacy and surrender.
Truth will set us free. Truth will allow us to walk in freedom. But only if we believe it. Only if we claim the Truth and cling to it with all our strength.
Do we believe God when He says that there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus?
Do we believe Him when He says that our sins are forgiven?
That we are precious in Christ?
That we are loved and chosen and beloved?
Do we believe Him when He says that we will face trouble, but He has overcome the world?
Do we believe him when He says that is isa patient that all might be saved?
That He has a plan and a purpose?
Do we believe Him when He says to abstain from what feels good for our actual good?
God’s Truth will cut to the heart. It will slice away all that is not of Him. And that might hurt. But His voice is always gentle. Full of compassion and steadfast love. He has great affection for you, even in His firmness. God has wrath, but it was poured out on Jesus so that we do not have to bear it.
So when you do NOT take every thought captive, and ask the Lord what He says is true, the voice you hear will be harsh and critical and shameful. Or maybe yours is a permissive cheerleader that will tell you that you are never wrong. This might be a more pleasant voice, but no less damaging. Who knows!
But we can be confident that the Holy Spirit will lead us to Truth if we pay attention and heed His promptings. The Truth is true, even if it feels unbelievable. It will lead to life.
