No Best Case Scenario

So many of us are stuck between a rock and a hard place. Many of you may be making difficult decisions right now. I don’t have a kid going to school but I can empathize with the feeling. No decision feels great. All seem to have more cons than pros. Everyone is making a different decision for a different reason. It’s so hard.

When I went to the hospital on July 16th I was not prepared for what happened. I laid in bed that evening facing some really difficult scenarios, basically all outside of my control. I might go home for a week and worry about my babies health the whole time. I might have my baby 8 weeks early and spend a long time in the NICU. If that happened I would either have to stay with her away from my son or stay at home away from my daughter. There was a possibility I would not bring her home at all. 

I remember beginning to pray and saying “Lord. I don’t know what to pray for here. I don’t see best case scenario. Everything seems bad.” Best case scenario would be to have the doctors say “my bad, everything is great.” And have a beautiful, healthy baby girl in September (not July). But that wasn’t an option.

In that moment I had to say “God I don’t know what’s best. I don’t know what to ask for. I just have to trust you.”

We have been told that we can have anything we want, if we do the work, hustle enough, do the research, etc. which leads me to the mindset that if something is not the ideal situation that I can change it if I just do the right things. Ask the right questions. Pray the right prayers. I subtely believe that I am entitled to my best case scenario. And I won’t let it go until I get it.

I either manipulate and strive for what I want. Or I worry and fret when I don’t get it.

But the thing is that sometimes the situation is just difficult. Sometimes to our human perspective there are no good options and what we are left with feels less than satisfactory.

But God’s will always wins out. He is not so much concerned with our first choice or best case scenario. He is concerned with His own will, which is always for our good, the good of his people, and most of all for His glory.

Was I thrilled to spend 4 weeks in a hospital away from my son? No.

Do I see good in it? Yes.

Have I learned a lot? Yes.

Do I understand the purpose of it? No.

Do I trust Jesus more because of it? Yes.

Do I think that the decisions we made were what everyone should choose? No. Many families were in our situation and making different choices. Making it work in different ways. They were doing the best with the resources and information that they had. 

So as you make decisions you don’t love. Ones that feel impossibly hard. When it seems like there has to be a right answer, you just have to keep searching...

Pray

Trust God

Make the best decision you can.

Keep pursuing Him

Walk in obedience to what you know

Pivot if you need to.

And know that God is ultimately in control.

He has your heart in mind. Even if it’s not your best case scenario.