That is not, in fact, abiding. It is more like staying in the vicinity of God. You can do all those things while abiding. You can also do all those things while not abiding. By focusing so much of our energy in not winning, we train ourselves to avoid or ignore our sin as a coping mechanism. Which leads to hiding or self righteousness. Basically being in denial about our sins.

The first yellow leaf is pure magic

The first golden sunset casting

Long autumn shadows is like balm

To my tired soul

It ushers in a reflective

And perfectly melancholy season

This too shall pass

And we will be changed

Hopefully for the better

Like the dawn after the dark

Our tables will be less crowded this year. There may be more food. Less noise. Fewer dishes in the sink. The space, empty chairs at our table, may feel like an insult.

Deepest gratitude comes when it appears little to be grateful

When it’s easier to differentiate wants and needs

Where is the thankfulness when hospitals are full

Holidays are cancelled

and family is far away

One day you will look back and tell this story

And it will only take a couple sentences

And they will say “oh that sounds hard.”

You will reply “yea, it was.”

The harder I try to create peace around me

The more chaos is stirred in my heart

The chaos of frustration, resentment and anger

When the world doesn’t play by my rules

When you get discouraged

Please remember

That God never lets the corruption

Distract him from determining the sun to rise each morning

Isn’t it funny that they start to hear you

When you find your voice

When you finally speak up

Isn’t it funny that they make room for you

When you start to take up space

In this season of transition, there is a great kindness. Many moments of the day I am in over my head. Many moments of the day I wonder where the time went. Days pass by in relative monotony. Yet so many moments where I lack so much. Patience, energy, strength, kindness, compassion, discipline… to name a few. It also feels as if I lack the time to get even the most mundane tasks done, not to mention sit and spend with the one who supplies all other needs.