For as long as I can remember, there has been an abundance of people. Out of pure fluke, I have surrounded myself with “people people” so I naturally surround myself with people by default. The people I love, love people so there is a tendency for our gatherings to multiply quickly.
And while I don’t love crowds, I do tend to really care about all the people that come with the crowd. So it is often that people are surprised that I am in fact an introvert.
I love people and crave quiet. It’s a conundrum.
To be an introvert really just means that you recharge by yourself. So after some amount of time with people, you need to be alone to rest. Extroverts on the other hand, find that they feel rejuvenated by being around people, and find being alone draining.
Neither are good or bad, just different.
So while I love the people, I love them better when I get some alone time. A lot of this is because I am an internal processor. Which means that I think a lot, probably too much at times. A boss of mine pointed out that some people need to build “thinking time” into their schedule in order to be more productive. That is totally me!
I lean more toward efficiency and productivity, so I have a hard time planning to do nothing… because then nothing gets done. Or at least that is how it seems.
But truly the down time is needed. In the stillness, I can think. I can feel emotions that I have been breezing past. I can pray for those people that I have been spending time with.
But even still, a little voice in my head says “if you really love people you will sacrifice for them. You will push through the exhaustion and stress and be there when they call. Being close in proximity is better than being present in mind.” It’s easy to believe that. But God created me to need quiet. Not too choose that over people, but to choose to be fully ready to love the people I am with.
I highly value community. It’s a value that I feel has not had enough spotlight for a long time. Our lives are better… fuller when we do it in community with others. When our boundaries in some cases are soft. When my door is open more than it is locked. When my words are less censured. When I say yes more than I say no.
But sometimes we get our yes’s mixed up. We say yes to the wrong things. Instead of saying yes to God’s invitation to quiet consideration, we say yes to all the millions of party invites, ministry opportunities, and activities.
Instead of saying yes to God’s call to rest, we fill our days with noise instead of sound. With distracted. Hurried words instead of meaningful conversation. With people pleasing, instead of people loving.
So for all you introverts out there, sometimes it’s ok to get away. To say no, even when you don’t have a reason. Because God made us to crave quiet. He made us to hear better in the silence. Choose to sometimes get away, so that the times you invest are quality. Use discernment above all.
There are times God will call you to stay in the tension of a conversation or event that you don’t feel up to. But sometimes the best obedience is to say no. Because in Christ, He gives us that freedom. Freedom to sit in the quiet. Instead of “earning His approval” through doing.
Accept this gift of freedom.