To My Village
“It takes a village.” That’s what they say. And isn’t it the truth?!
Raising kids into adulthood is an endeavor. And while parents are tasked with the responsibility to provide for, nourish, and disciple these little (and not so little beings), help is always appreciated.
Lately on social media, I have seen a trend of bemoaning the lack of “village”. The implication that if someone doesn’t show up on your doorstep in the middle of the night when you are groggily feeding a baby, then your community is not showing up for you.
The Lord has been kind to us, above anything I can imagine with very generous friends. We are loved well, and way more than we deserve. And yet, there are still times that I feel alone and overwhelmed in parenting. Maybe we have gotten the wrong idea of what being a good friend and support system means.
The Lord has given us all a full plate. And he has given us all people and places to serve, as well as gifts in which to serve with. My village is wide, and many have tiny kiddos themselves. Or work a full time job. Or live far away. Of have other dependents in their life that rely on them.
Our role as a village is to love generously out of what we have, and to show grace when we don’t have much. We don’t need to be each others nannies, or housekeepers, or personal shoppers to be supportive. The precedent of a gourmet meal or lavish gift can deter heartfelt gestures of true significance. Supporting each other doesn’t mean it has to be a huge gesture or daily interactions. But it is regularly doing what you can in the moments that you can to serve each other.
It is consistently and joyfully showing up that makes the most impact. In the small ways out of your gifting to meet a need out of obedience to the Lord. The most impactful things my village has done is pray for us. Contending in the unseen places.
Our village is not meant to meet all our needs. God does that. But they can remind us of a God who sees us. Who has “paid close attention.”
My village gives generously out of their abundance. And I am so grateful. And in so many ways, they have taught me how to be a better village to others.
To my village:
I see you
And there is no amount of gratitude
That would be enough
To the ones who listen to my kids superhero stories
And help with shoes
And zip up coats
To those who wipe the table after my kids demolish a donut on Sunday morning
And hunt for a baby wipe to clean their face
To those who endure endless interruptions
For spills and snack and diapers changes
And requests to play legos
because my kids think that you are more their friend than mine
To the people that FaceTime
Just to stare at my kids foreheads
And listen to fights over who gets to hold the phone
To my village who doesn’t complain
When I respond to one text in 10 seconds
And the next in 48 hours
And who responds to a questions at 4am
Because they know we are both up feeding babies anyway
To one who saves me a seat on Sunday morning
Because I’m late checkin my kids in
And who changes my newborns diaper
While I pick up the older 2 from kid’s ministry
To the village who sends
Sweet reminders of truth and encouragement
And also sends ridiculous videos
For when I just need a laugh
Who put our milestones on their calendars
and show up with flowers
Who pray for us
and cry with us to share the load
To the friends who come over for a last minute invite
And who understand when I have to plan a hangout 3 weeks in advance
Or cancel for a fever
Or can’t find a sitter
Who don’t keep track of the last time I called
And will pick up right where we left off
To the family who drive way too far
way too often
for little to no reason
just to play and visit
To the one who never bats an eye
When the table is sticky
And my shirt has spit up on it
And I ran out of time to sweep up the dog hair
To my village who dropped off coloring books
And folded my laundry
And pass along hand me downs
For the village who sends pictures they took
When my hands were full
And I was distracted
I never want to miss all the big and small ways
That we show up for each other
They ways that I feel seen
In the midst of chaos
And loved in the mess
“For each one should carry their own load”
And yet also
“Carry each other’s burdens”
