Anxiousness is running a race

With a finish line that keeps moving

Anxiousness is being pushed from behind

But not knowing in what direction

Stepping outside reminds me that I’m living

The breeze through my hair

and the sun on my face

reminds me that I take up space.

I asked to hear God’s voice

And He spoke to me

He sounded like the rustle of pages

He sounded like prophesy

I forgot my freedom

When I remembered my chains

Instead of forgiveness

I lived in my shame

One day you will look back and tell this story

And it will only take a couple sentences

And they will say “oh that sounds hard.”

What if we entertained our neighbors

Like we entertained our insecurities

Welcoming them in often

Hearing them out

The frosty view from my window

A reminder that it’s ok to go slowly

To tiptoe into a new season

To tread lightly

To enjoy the untouched blanket for a moment more

So gaze on the beauty of flowers in the spring.

Soak up the sun on your skin in the summer.

Crunch through the falling leaves in autumn.

And make snowmen in the winter.

Allow your season to be your season.

New Year’s Eve was spent with the intention of reflecting. I tried, I really did. I even posted a caption with a reflection that while I still stand behind made it seem that I had really leaned into processing 2020.

O come thou long expected Jesus

Meet us underneath the tree

when lights and wrapped gifts

give little joy to me